Blog 9

I don't know how "Women's Studies" related this week's post is going to be, but I am in the situation because I am a woman, so close enough I guess. My best friend since 6th grade is having a baby in December, and I am throwing a baby shower in 2 weeks. I've been working on it for 2 months now, and I think that I am pretty close to having everything ready. Now, though, I am having all of these dreams about things going hellishly wrong. Last night I dreamed that everybody ignored the gift registry and only brought onesies and receiving blankets. That's it, packages and packages of onesies and blankets. I have also dreamed that I run out of food, or don't have enough plates, stupid stuff like that. Now, I'm analyzing why I've been having all these dreams (nightmares really) and I think that I have come up with a plausible reason.

Women are always trying to impress each other. I have always thought that women don't wear nice clothes, ridiculously uncomfortable shoes, faces full of makeup, and shellacked hairdos to trap a man but to show off for other women. We know how catty we can be to each other, sometimes in the guise of a compliment. "Oh Ethel, that outfit is so 'interesting'. I couldn't pull off that color, but you..." Which basically means "That is the ugliest thing that I have ever seen and poop green is not flattering on anyone." So, my real fear lays in the possibility that one of the 50 or so ladies that are coming to this shindig will find my decorations tacky, or the venues wrong, or some other picky ass thing that only a woman would notice. Cuz, I have worked hard, and shelled out A LOT of money, and if one of those ingrates doesn't like it I will just snap.

Luckily, the party is in a short 2 weeks, and then I never have to worry about this sort of woman induced angst ever again. Until my step sister wants me to have one for her, or my little brother finally manages to knock up one of his many "girlfriends". And then, I will be right back to having nightmares about the punch fountain not working.